Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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