Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
