She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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