I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize