Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
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