Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
