Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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