tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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