Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
