Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wear drunk well.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
