the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
