glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
