He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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