I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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