Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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