Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
