ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
