the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
