He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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