if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
