No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
