So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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