Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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