you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
