Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
