butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
