Umm I'm too high to move.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
