Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
