the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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