Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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