And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
