Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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