there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I could make wine with my vomit
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
