Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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