Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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