how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
