It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize