if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
