Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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