i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
