i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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