gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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