I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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