Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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