I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize