SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
