this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
