idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
