i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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