Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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