i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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