he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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