Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize