Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
