I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
