but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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