I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
