Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
