I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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