I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
