Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
