its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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