Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
