She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
