$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have aggressive nipples.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
