I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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