it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
